b4mf:

helloashlee:

• if you have $5 and chuck norris has $5, he has more money than you.
• there is no “ctrl” button on chuck norris’s computer. chuck norris is always in control.
• chuck norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
• chuck norris destroyed he periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
• chuck norris can kill two stones with one bird.
• when the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for chuck norris.
• outer space exists because it’s too afraid to be on the same planet as chuck norris.
• chuck norris is the reason why waldo is hiding.
• chuck norris counted to infinity - twice.
• there is no chin behind chuck norris’s beard. there is only another fist.
• chuck norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
• chuck norris does not get frost bite. chuck norris bites frost.
• chuck norris can slam a revolving door.
• chuck norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
• if at first you don’t succeed, you’re not chuck norris.
• if chuck norris were a calendar, every month would be named chucktober, and every day he’d kick your ass.
• as president roosevelt said: “we have nothing to fear but fear itself - and chuck norris.”

lololol.

LMAO.

i love, if at first you don’t succeed, you’re not chuck norris the best LMAO.